Where is my mind?

I started flushing and defoliated her. I will harvest in 5 days. I was expecting a longer flowering, so the colas would really fat up like usual with Think Different... I'm sad and happy at the same time. It's like i'm going to lose a long time friend in 5 days, but at the same time, it's like there's another one coming, when i start drying the buds. Even though it's one of the smallest plants i've grown, in terms of buds(My previous small Think Different, ended up with 98g-3.5OZ, and the biggest with 350g-12.3OZ), it was also the one that got me back in sintony with the essence of growing. I wasn't looking for killer harvests or potency. Hell... I don't even smoke for months and i'm doing it outdoors, off-season! I'm growing this babe because growing is not only my hobby: it's my life passion. I grow hundreds of species in my land but this one is by far the love of my life. To finish with respect and love, I will flush with 10L of PHed water everyday until harvest, to clean the nutrient excess. I'm keeping the vegetation mass to do edibles or a very small batch of ice hash... I still need to decide :D what a hard life, right!!? It's always hard to chop one of these babes, but this one, will be almost torture... I just which i had pollen from a previous grow, so i could continue the lineage next year... with proper conditions.